Looking forward going back

I had been living quite happily off Old Chester road for more years than I could care to mention. I have always been happy here and the days were mainly sunshine, but soon a storm was brewing in the treacherous sky.

I like to think back on happier times when my hubby owned the fish shop. Billly Jones was his name. This was years ago when Tranmere was a proper community full of bustle and shops, but even today I hear “do you remember Billy Jones who owned the fish shop?” and God I feel proud. Excuse me, thinking of happier times always upsets me. Now where did I put my hankie?

Things have been rough the last few years what with the passing of Billy and of course the kids growing up as all kids do. Billy the kid and little Mikey had families of their own now, and I do feel I am becoming a burden which no-one wants to be. They’re busy with their own lives, too far away. They live in Meols, which is hardly Mars, but it may as well be.

That left our Janey, my one and only daughter. Like a lot of daughter /mother relationships it was like a box of matches going off in the back of a van full of fireworks. She thinks I’m going doolally - me I’m as sane as they come, just because I leave a few taps on they seem to think I am insane. I mean me !!!

When Janey suggested the home and insisted on taking me round, my heat took a somersault. The name of the house was Beachlands. Nothing too awful about that, but it was where it was, none other than Rock Park. My heart practically stopped, but to Janey's dismay it kept beating with a strong rhythm. Rock Park. The words made my heart "flutter BANG". The memory of the place was like opening the flood gates. Just as people can remember clearly the opening of the Kingsway tunnel or, more famously say, " I remember EXACTLY where I was when Kennedy was shot“.

Janey had organised a visit (typical). She loved organising people. NAG ! NAG! down my ear. I should maybe pick up some tablets from Fogg’s Chemist to shut her up or calm me down. "Come on Mum, you know how busy I am. Got a meeting with the new boss at three." With no time to spare and the seat belts still in a twizzle we were off. BRRRRROOM along the Rock Ferry bypass. I remember the fury of it being built, how we fought, telling the developers that surely there was another way of improving traffic flow, without demolishing so many homes. And the houses were not the run-of-the-mill terraced houses easily replaced, each one was special and all with stories to tell. I remember going with our Billy to the meetings, where all the so-called important people were, with their suits neatly ironed but their ties always crooked , perhaps to match the contents of their brains! Funny how your bottle goes when you see someone in a suit, or a woman with a flowery dress, but I was proud of our Billy, "You can’t rewrite history and try as you might you cannot rebuild it, the smells and the sights can never be fully brought back, and like people it is not until they are gone that you fully understand what you once had." I remember blushing like a beetroot when I heard this and he sat down to thunderous applause.

I believe in always hoping, even if it is as much as a flutter of a wing of a butterfly. I knew, as I searched for my hankie, that the people in their ironed clothes and wonky ties would win. But at least I know we went down fighting.

Janey had swung the car through the gates "Come on!" she said. I don't think anyone could picture how I felt as I ventured nearer and closer to Rock Park. There was a stillness I felt even before going through the door, a stillness you could almost touch. I felt as if I was walking into a picture frame. "Hello Masie we have been expecting you. I'll be with you in a minute", a cheerful voice called out. I was led into a room with music oozing from it. I felt my legs carry me as if they had a life of their own. The music seemed strangely familiar. I walked in to a biggish room with about 7 to 8 people. A few were sitting, one was sleeping and a couple were dancing around. All seemed at home in the house called “Beachlands”, but I was taken elsewhere. A large French window was open and that is when I saw it. I felt my legs wobble and slightly give way as my eyes looked upon a derelict house with old raggedy curtains blowing in the wind.

WOOSH. There I was, a young slip of a girl who had a job as a maid in Mr. Jackson’s house, a post I had been told I was lucky to get. I was brought up not that faraway in Tranmere, but this was where the rich and the gentry lived, the ship owners, as what could be better than looking across the Mersey to the city of Liverpool? I was well looked after and never actually felt as in service, more like having two families, and it was here I first met our Billy who had a job in the house also. I know that we were not like the folk from Upstairs/ Downstairs, but when we got older and saw the tv programme we used to howl laughing!

I remember the day I fell for Billy. The Jacksons were having one of their dances. Although the staff were officially still on duty, we used to peep in at the gaiety of it all. I suppose most people remember their first dance and what the music was, but to me it was pure magic. I felt a slight touch on my arm, not quite noticeable, but like the breeze of the wind on your body, I knew it was there. The smell of the river seemed to be upon Billy, a friendly smell, somehow like home. Afterall, where would any of us be without the Mersey? Although I was nervous, I felt myself being whirled round the room to the music of the Blue Danube. I wished this moment could last forever, although in my heart I knew this could never be.

"Ok Masie ready to come back through, it’s getting a bit nippy out here." I was gently led away from the window and back towards the room where the music was getting louder and louder. I could not believe my ears, the music coming from the player was none other than the Blue Danube. I knew my ears were not as strong as they used to be, but I’d know it anywhere. I looked across to the derelict house and I found myself smiling one of those secret smiles where only you are aware of the amusement.

Janey was whisking me down the path "Come on I don’t want to be late." I followed at a pace to suit myself. I was not worried or frightened. This was where my new home was going to be and I knew I would always have the memories of the past to keep me happy.